He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
