K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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