your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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