Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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