Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
