Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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