i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize