You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Fuck appropriateness.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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