There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
