If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
why do cheetos always look like penises
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Terrible idea I love it
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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