I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
