haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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