i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She bit a glass in half.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
