Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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