Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
