So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
