dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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