It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
