you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
