i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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