I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
