I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
