Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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