you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
