ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Moan for me like Helen Keller
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
