There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
