NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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