You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
