we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
