I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
