there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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