ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
