She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
