I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
