You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
