We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
