Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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