Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
