Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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