He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
