Sry I called you an 8
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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