There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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