i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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