No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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