you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
