Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
