does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
