Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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