Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
