Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
