pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
