he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My feet surprised me
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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