Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
