just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
