You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
