Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i dont even know how to be here
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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