i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
