And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
