I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
