Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
