How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
It's official drugs can't kill me
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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